Hey, I know. It's been a while. Quite a while. I'm stuck in some sort of self-created mind-numbing vacuum... try to fill in the blanks of the last several months - or just pick it up from here? Decisions - decisions. As the days tic-tock by, my idealist blog remains empty. Too many pebbles to the head makes one stupid.
So - random thoughts, occassional insight and attempts at articulation - we are back on!
Today was a very cold day for May. It is Wisconsin, and we had 8 inches of snow fall a few shorts weeks ago (followed a week later by record breaking 92 degrees - seriously brain-warping activity) - I should not be even slightly dispeptic. But the rain and chill left me feeling nostalgic (and wanting tomato soup for supper). Hmmm - nostalgia lies in a forgotten blog? Stranger things have happened. (For me - we're talking me. You know - strange - me.) So, I read my past posts - stunned at the gadjillion things I've left unsaid - the plethora of events that have visited, settled or recreated out lives to date and I'm heart-broken that I may have forgotten many of the wonders we've encountered on this journey.
We signed the mortgage! Whew! Two years of work, culminated in an appraisal on April 15th that rewarded us with a result that allowed us to close on an excellent rate, with equity to spare, and a small amount of cash-back (promptly redeposited for the guaranteed property tax increase - OH how God loves to do amazing things in providing for us)! We've been in this mode of waking up every morning for two years with one of two burning thoughts in our minds, "What do we need to get done today?" or, "what am I avoiding getting done today?". We discover, it's hard to break habits! The first weekend after April 15th, one we didn't have to do anything to get ready for "the" appraisal, we spent helping friends with THEIR remodel! (So much more fun to work on someone else's project - and a huge blessing to give to them what they gave to us so often these past two years.)
The work on the house has been reflective of what God has been doing in our lives. He has come in and, in ways, taken me down to the studs. There has been re-wiring, repairing of foundations, removing of walls, recovered use of space and newness brought in everywhere. There are more windows to let light shine in, sanding of floors to get the grime out and the beauty of natural wood shine through, the trim is both new and recovered - specifically selected and placed for the best presentation. Not everything is perfect - but there is a lot of real character. Good bones - recovered treasure. I feel like God has been doing that work in me. The tearing down - not much fun! At the same time, there is lighteness as burdens are relieved and broken things are thrown out. It feels like discombobulation sometimes. But as I see how he's putting me back together, like this house, I am feeling loved - and attended to... and put together with a vision and purpose in mind.
We saw this house as it could be two years ago - and amaze even ourselves at how it's been reclaimed right before our eyes. So, too - God sees me as I should be... and I'm just beginning to catch his vision, and in total and complete cooperation (most days) I'm walking into that image.
Being reclaimed is a beautiful thing.
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