What June Looks Like

Okay, so I've mentioned that we are embarking on a new adventure. We're doing this so unusually, it makes me shiver.  We know God is leading.  How do I know?  Because of the little (and not so little) messages he has sent along the way.  I'm going to bullet-point our steps so far:

• Two years ago Matt and I feel a "tug" to go back to Eau Claire.  We feel it independantly, afraid to say anything to each other because we just KNOW the other will say it's crazy. 
• We acknowledge we are both crazy.  When the "when" comes into the conversation, we both say "2 years" out loud.  Crazy.  Makes sense to go right then... or wait 5.  Whatever.
• We start looking at houses in 2009. We go from big country places 50 miles out, to big country places 20 miles in.  We do not think about living "in town". 
• The housing market crashes... we are "underwater" on our Kenosha place. We keep looking.  Crazy.
• We look at place after place after place - all "not quite ringing a bell"... and decide we are crazier than earlier thought. 
• On a whim we look at a place "in town".  It needs a TON of work.  We hear a bell ring.  I know - crazy.
• We are led to a local lender willing to work with us.  We decide he is crazy and thank God mightily for him.
• We attempt to make offer on said bell-ringing place only to find it's taken off the market that day. huh?
• 3 months later, we see it on the internet.  So we bid and "win" the house on internet auction. We save over $8000 from our original price.  Sweet!
• We sign loan papers, get a key, start to plan on fixing it up.  Parents come to see. They don't tell us - but we know.  Crazy - certifiable.
• We start tearing out walls, getting bids, buying propane heaters to work by in the frigid indoors, eating prepared lunches made by recovered parents. 
• We buy broom and a kitchen sink.  So - now we need everything ... but the kitchen sink.  So we buy a furnace and some windows.  There - that's better!
• How are we going to pay for this??? I panic.  I pray - hard crying, "we are totally crazy!" Next day, I get a bonus.  I'm humbled to the core! God loves to do amazing things.  It will pay for the new roof!
• We save money from ev-er-y-where to start remodeling.   We buy a new transmission for the Jetta, a new chimney liner for the Kenosha place to get the water heater working, replace the wheel bearing in the truck, ... WAIT... that's not for the house!  Pebble numbers 78,101 and 112, I think.
• We watch savings account get smaller and smaller.  Ah - well.  It's God's.  He knows what he's doing.

So, as I'm sitting at Rudy's Mexican Restaurant talking to my friend Lee, I'm relaying all the things happening and revealed my biggest challenge so far.  I like knowing what's coming 'round the bend. In general.  I mean, barring all of the unexpected, you can pretty much know what things will look like in your life in the next few months... this summer - next school year.  I like that. 

But now - I have NO IDEA what June looks like.  I have no idea what October looks like.  Where will we be?  Will the house here be sold, will we be carrying 5 mortgages? (the house here, the house there, the cabin, the boat, the business - ugh, yeah - crazy!), will the roof be on, when can we move in, this year even?  It makes me crazy not knowing.

"I can help you with that!", says Lee.  "June - it's big blue skies, lots of sun, lots of work.... and October, lots of work, and pretty trees".

Once I stopped laughing I realized...
She's right - I DO know what June looks like!

Carried

When I was a little girl, I used to stick all sorts of things, er - treasures, in my pocket and carry them around.  Most of the time it was an acorn, or dandelions, or a pretty little pebble. Sometimes a blue spotted salamander, or little grass snake would end up being carted around the yard in my pocket, and wind up somewhere in the dirty clothes pile at the end of the day (much to my poor mother's dismay). 

Maybe it was the beautiful sunny morning we are having today - a perfect spring day, much like the ones where I would hop out of bed early and go exploring in the back yard to see what I could find to safely store in my pockets. It made me think of how I used to (used to - who am I kidding?) gather my little trinkets for safekeeping.  Yes, I still pick up pretty stones, carrying them around until I can show my kids, or put them in one of my jars that hold the evidence of many a thoughtful moment.

This morning, I got to thinking about how my "thousands of pebbles" - the ones that represent my trials - tend to get carried around, too.  Stored in my mind, or heart - weighing me down.  And that is not a good thing.  Many times I let them weigh me down for too long.  I become troubled and worry. What does my Saviour tell me about that?  "Don't let your hearts be troubled" (John 14:1).  In fact the entire chapter of John 14 tells me that He will take care of my past (by going to the cross and saving me from my sins), present (by giving me the gift of the Holy Spirit... the counselor, comforter) and future (he's preparing my heavenly home)!  He's taken care of everything. 

Ev-er-y-thing!

So, I can lay down my pebbles, the ones that weigh me down, and pick up his treasures!  The beautiful things he gives me that bring joy and peace into my life.   I need to remember, too - that sometimes God might pelt me with a "pebble" to get my attention.  And I just might find it to be one of those little sparkly ones - the kind that I can carry around in my pocket for a while, as a reminder of the gifts He gives.

Why 1000 Pebbles?

Frankly, I'm not sure.  I just remember telling someone a few weeks ago that recent trials my family and I were dealing with were not so much like big rocks that were crushing, or boulders to circumvent, but rather it was like being pelted with a thousand little pebbles.  Irritating, clumsy to walk through, and exhausting to deal with (especially when a few would get through and poke us in the eye!).  Lots of little trials.  Comin' at you one at a time - easy to deal with.  Pelted enmass - makes me wish I had an umbrella, or shield... or box to hide in!

But I am not made for hiding.  And I have a shield.  I am sheltered under the wing of an Almighty God.  And it is to this God I want to bring glory.  Because He has done great things for me.  He is my Rock - my thousand little pebbles are really nothing in comparison. 

It helps me to write things down.  I figured that after years of "paper journals", I would try something new.  It marks the advent of something entirely new in our lives.  We are pulling up roots and moving back toward the place we were raised.  Our adult children have headed in that direction - the children that are still at home, well - it's hard to dislodge them from the only home they've ever known.  But we know God is calling.  And we are following. 

The journey will be loaded with thousands of pebbles.  Probably a few boulders, too.  Time to make note of them all and see what God does in sheltering us over the course of the next year or so. 

Oh - As I'm sure you'll figure out, this is entirely new to me  (all 3 of you.... I suspect that I can get a few family members to follow this little blog).  And I'll learn along the way... about blogging (and more). So forgive any spelling, posting, photo attachment, design or editing anomolies.  I'll figure it out eventually.